Naruto Online
by Almighty-Hanako-Chan
Summary: Welcome to the internet, where love is found, threats are made... and Naruto characters are attacked by rabid fans! GaaSakuNeji NaruHina - T for excessive swearing! On Hiatus
1. One Hell Of A Secret

Hiya. I warn you, extreme OOCness is on its way! .

I don't own Naruto!

**Cherry-Blossom **- Sakura  
**Numba1Ninja** - Naruto  
**CHIDORI **- Sasuke  
**00Byakugan00 **- Neji  
**O-IALWAYSHITMYTARGET-O** - Tenten  
**YOUTH** - Rock Lee  
**Lazy-Smartass** - Shikamaru  
**BARBYQ** - Chouji  
**Sasuke'sGal** - Ino  
**B.U.G.S** - Shino  
**V-Bettadanu-V **- Kiba  
**HyuugaHeiress **- Hinata  
**\/WORLDSBIGGESTFAN\/** - Temari  
**#P,U,P,P,E,T,M,A,S,T,E,R#** - Kankuro  
**X.XdesertfuneralX.X** - Gaara

* * *

Chapter 1

_**Numba1Ninja has joined the conversation**_

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**Numba1Ninja:** Hi Sakura!

**Cherry-Blossom:** Hi.

_**CHIDORI has joined the conversation**_

**Cherry-Blossom:** Hi Sasuke!

**Numba1Ninja:** …hi Sasuke.

**CHIDORI :** hn… whatever.

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**Sasuke'sGal:** SASUKE!

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**Sasuke'sGal:** T.T WAIT FOR ME SASUKE!

_**Sasuke'sGal has left the conversation**_

**Cherry-Blossom :** Why does that have to happen every time I log on.

**Numba1Ninja:** Sakura, are you still a Sasuke fan?

**Cherry-Blossom:** No, but I still think he's cool.

**Numba1Ninja:** What is so great about him? He is a jerk.

**Cherry-Blossom:** I know he is but he always helps us when we need him.

**Numba1Ninja:** No he doesn't he's a selfish show-off.

**Cherry-Blossom:** whatever Naruto, I g2g now cya.

**Numba1Ninja:** BYE SAKURA!

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**Bettadanu:** Hi Naruto

**Numba1Ninja:** Hey Kiba. U ok?

**Numba1Ninja:** yeah

**Bettadanu: **ujhijhgyuyttfdrtfbdjklvcjkvj

**Numba1Ninja: **?

**Bettadanu:** Sorry. Akamaru stood on the keyboard

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**HyuugaHeir : **Hi Naruto. Hi Kiba

**Bettadanu:** Hi Hinata

**Numba1Ninja:** Hey Hinata.

**HyuugaHeir:** Can you two keep a secret? 

**Bettadanu: **no

**Numba1Ninja:** no

**HyuugaHeir : **Who cares, I'll tell you anyway. Neji likes Sakura

**Numba1Ninja:** O.O

**Bettadanu: **no way! How do you know?

**HyuugaHeir :** Well by the way he's been looking at her you'd have to be brainless not to see.

**Numba1Ninja:** I didn't see

**Bettadanu:** Well of course you didn't see. You're brainless.

**Numba1Ninja:** HEY!!!

**HyuugaHeir :** Don't tell Neji I told you or he'll kill me!

**Bettadanu:** Don't worry I won't tell anyone

**Numba1Ninja:** I have to go tell everyone. Bye!

_**Numba1Ninja has left the conversation**_

**HyuugaHeir :** -- I shoulda seen that one coming

**HyuugaHeir :** Bye Kiba. I better go hide for when Neji comes to kill me.

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	2. The Stupidity Of Siblings

Once again, Naruto does not belong to me.

* * *

Chapter 2

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**Cherry-Blossom:** Hi Neji! How are you?

**00Byakugan00:** Hello Sakura. I am very well.

**Numba1Ninja:** Hey Sakura!

**CHIDORI :** …hello sakura. How are you?

**Cherry-Blossom:** hi guys. I am fine Sasuke, thank you for asking.

**Numba1Ninja:** Hey guys, guess what?

**Cherry-Blossom:** What?

**Numba1Ninja:** Neji likes Sakura!

**00Byakugan00:** Do you really think it was smart to say that when I am in the exact same chatroom as you?

**Numba1Ninja:** … oops

**Cherry-Blossom:** Naruto what have I told you about spreading stupid rumours?!

**Numba1Ninja:** You never tell me that!

**Cherry-Blossom:** Well I'm telling you now!

**CHIDORI :** … Naruto. Where are you right now?

**Numba1Ninja:** I'm at that new computer café, why?

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**Cherry-Blossom:** what's up with him?

**Numba1Ninja:** Naruto is busy right now, he will talk later.

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**00Byakugan00: **That was creepy

**Cherry-Blossom:** Was what Naruto said true?

**00Byakugan00: **…no

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_**#P,U,P,P,E,T,M,A,S,T,E,R#**__**has just joined the conversation**_

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_**[Lazy—smartass has just joined the conversation**_

**O-IALWAYSHITMYTARGET-O:** Hi Sakura

**YOUTH:** Hello Sakura, I have been looking all over for you. Will you go on a date with me?

**Cherry-Blossom:** no

**YOUTH:** Why?

**Cherry-Blossom:** Because you're a stalker who won't leave me alone.

**\/WORLDSBIGGESTFAN\/: **lol

**#P,U,P,P,E,T,M,A,S,T,E,R#:** Hey Sakura. You're looking pretty today.

**Cherry-Blossom:** …We are talking in a chat room kankuro. You can't see me.

**#P,U,P,P,E,T,M,A,S,T,E,R#: **I know that but you look pretty every day so today won't be any different.

**Cherry-Blossom:** (sweat drops) Okay then.

**#P,U,P,P,E,T,M,A,S,T,E,R#: **sakura. I was wondering if you might like to

**Cherry-Blossom:** like to what?

**#P,U,P,P,E,T,M,A,S,T,E,R#: **…

**Cherry-Blossom:** what is it Kankuro?

**#P,U,P,P,E,T,M,A,S,T,E,R#: **…

**#P,U,P,P,E,T,M,A,S,T,E,R#: **Gaara.

**X.XdesertfuneralX.X:** What?

**#P,U,P,P,E,T,M,A,S,T,E,R#: **Why is sand crawling up my leg?

**X.XdesertfuneralX.X:** …

**#P,U,P,P,E,T,M,A,S,T,E,R#: **Could you please get it off?

**X.XdesertfuneralX.X:** no

**#P,U,P,P,E,T,M,A,S,T,E,R#: **why not?

**X.XdesertfuneralX.X:** I don't want to

**\/WORLDSBIGGESTFAN\/:** GAARA GET YOUR SAND OFF KANKURO BEFORE I TELL EVERYONE YOUR BIG SECRET.

**X.XdesertfuneralX.X:** … ok I will get it off

**\/WORLDSBIGGESTFAN\/: **good boy

**X.XdesertfuneralX.X:** go fuck yourself Temari

**\/WORLDSBIGGESTFAN\/: **WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?

**X.XdesertfuneralX.X:** Oh I'm sorry Temari. (pulls out megaphone) GO FUCK YOURSELF.

**\/WORLDSBIGGESTFAN\/: **HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO DIE?

**X.XdesertfuneralX.X: **(still using megaphone) HOW WOULD **YOU** LIKE TO SUCK MY BALLS?

**O-IALWAYSHITMYTARGET-O:** 'o' O.O 

**YOUTH:** 0.0

**Bettadanu:** 0.0

**B.U.G.S: **0.0

**[lazy—smartass:** O.O

**Cherry-Blossom:** O.O

**#P,U,P,P,E,T,M,A,S,T,E,R#: **he is so dead.

**\/WORLDSBIGGESTFAN\/: **…

_**\/WORLDSBIGGESTFAN\/ has left the conversation**_

**Cherry-Blossom: **Gaara, I strongly suggest you lock and barricade the door, then RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!

_**X.XdesertfuneralX.X has left the conversation**_

**#P,U,P,P,E,T,M,A,S,T,E,R#:** I can hear screaming. I better go before Temari decides to vent her anger on me.

_**#P,U,P,P,E,T,M,A,S,T,E,R#**__**has left the conversation**_

**O-IALWAYSHITMYTARGET-O: **That is one weird family.

**Bettadanu: **You are so right.

**YOUTH: **I must go now to train with Gai-sensei. Goodbye to you all.

_**YOUTH has left the conversation**_

**Bettadanu:** I have to go feed Akamaru. Cya.

_**Bettadanu has left the conversation**_

**O-IALWAYSHITMYTARGET-O:** I am leaving bye.

_**O-IALWAYSHITMYTARGET-O has left the conversation**_

**[Lazy—smartass: **… Bye

_**[lazy—smartass has left the conversation**_

**Cherry-Blossom:** looks like it's just you and me left Shino.

_**B.U.G.S has left the conversation**_

**Cherry-Blossom: **T.T that was rude.

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	3. Hidden Signs And Ultimate Stupidity

Chapter 3 Numba1Ninja has joined the conversation 

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O-IALWAYSHITMYTARGET-O has joined the conversation 

_**BARBYQ** **has joined the conversation**_

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_**\/WORLDSBIGGESTFAN\/** **has joined the conversation**_

_**#P,U,P,P,E,T,M,A,S,T,E,R#has joined the conversation** _

X.XdesertfuneralX.X has joined the conversation 

**Cherry-Blossom:** Hi guys

** CHIDORI :** hi Sakura. How u doin?

**Cherry-Blossom:** I'm ok

**Sasuke'sGal:** HIYA SASUKE.

** CHIDORI :** …

**Sasuke'sGal:** HOW R U? I'M FINE. HOW COME U LOGGED OFF YESTERDAY, I WAS SOOOOOOO WORRIED. HOW ABOUT A DATE TONIGHT. U CAN PICK ME UP AT 8. BYE.

Sasuke'sGal has left the conversation 

**Cherry-Blossom:** Was I really that bad when I was madly in love with you.

** CHIDORI : **yes

**00Byakugan00: **yes

O-IALWAYSHITMYTARGET-O: yes 

**BARBYQ:** yes

**B.U.G.S:** yes

**Bettadanu:** yes

** HyuugaHeir : **yes

**\/WORLDSBIGGESTFAN\/:** yes

**#P,U,P,P,E,T,M,A,S,T,E,R#:** yes

**X.XdesertfuneralX.X:** …no

** CHIDORI :** 0.0

**Cherry-Blossom:** 0.0

**00Byakugan00: **0.0

O-IALWAYSHITMYTARGET-O: 0.0 

**BARBYQ:** 0.0

**B.U.G.S:** 0.0

**Bettadanu:** 0.0

** HyuugaHeir : **0.0

**\/WORLDSBIGGESTFAN\/:** 0.0

**#P,U,P,P,E,T,M,A,S,T,E,R#:** 0.0

**X.XdesertfuneralX.X:** I mean you weren't that terrible. It wasn't your fault you liked the human ice-cube.

**Cherry-Blossom:** (blushes) um… thanx?

**00Byakugan00:** …

** CHIDORI :** ... the sand demon must die

**\/WORLDSBIGGESTFAN\/:** 0.0 did gaara just say something nice?

**#P,U,P,P,E,T,M,A,S,T,E,R#:** 0.0 I think so…

**\/WORLDSBIGGESTFAN\/: **bak in a moment

**#P,U,P,P,E,T,M,A,S,T,E,R#:** … guys?

O-IALWAYSHITMYTARGET-O: wat? 

**BARBYQ:** wat?

**B.U.G.S:** wat?

**Bettadanu:** wat?

** HyuugaHeir :** wat?

**#P,U,P,P,E,T,M,A,S,T,E,R#:** I just heard a bang from next door. Brb I am gonna check she's okay

**5 minutes later**

**#P,U,P,P,E,T,M,A,S,T,E,R#:** …

**Cherry-Blossom: **well?

**#P,U,P,P,E,T,M,A,S,T,E,R#:** Temari… fainted

**\/WORLDSBIGGESTFAN\/:** xcbxcbxdhcbxcbxcbxcbfjfgxcbxcagbxcbxcfgfg

**#P,U,P,P,E,T,M,A,S,T,E,R#:** … on her keyboard.

**Bettadanu:** (laughs) :D

**X.XdesertfuneralX.X:** I'll go wake her

X.XdesertfuneralX.X has left the conversation 

_**\/WORLDSBIGGESTFAN\/ has left the conversation**_

**#P,U,P,P,E,T,M,A,S,T,E,R#:** .I better go make sure she ain't dead.

_**#P,U,P,P,E,T,M,A,S,T,E,R# has left the conversation**_

**00Byakugan00:** Hinata?

** HyuugaHeir :** yes?

**00Byakugan00:** I heard a rumour yesterday.

** HyuugaHeir :** cya

_** HyuugaHeir has left the conversation**_

**00Byakugan00:** YOU GET BACK HERE RIGHT NOW!!!

_**00Byakugan00 has left the conversation**_

**Bettadanu:** This conversation gets better and better :D

**Cherry-Blossom: **lol. Look out the window.

**BARBYQ:** Is that Neji chasing Hinata down the street?

**Cherry-Blossom:** yeah :D . I'm going to go make sure he doesn't hurt her too badly. We don't want a repeat of the chuunin exam.

_**Cherry-Blossom has left the conversation**_

**Bettadanu: **I'm going to get a better view.

_**Bettadanu has left the conversation**_

**B.U.G.S:** why did my team have to be the dumb ones.

_**B.U.G.S has left the conversation**_

_** CHIDORI has left the conversation**_

**O-IALWAYSHITMYTARGET-O:** Its just you and me left. Who are you again?

**BARBYQ:** I'm chouji.

**O-IALWAYSHITMYTARGET-O:** ??

**BARBYQ:** I was one of the rookie 9 at the chuunin exam.

**O-IALWAYSHITMYTARGET-O:** Were you that lazy one?

**BARBYQ:** no

**O-IALWAYSHITMYTARGET-O:** Oh. Were you the fat one then/

**BARBYQ:** -- NOT FAT

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**O-IALWAYSHITMYTARGET-O:** I'll take that as a yes.

O-IALWAYSHITMYTARGET-O has left the conversation 


	4. Ino's Rampage

**Warning! – **This chapter is insulting to Ino Yamanaka. So Ino fans should beware! 

enjoy the new chapter

Chapter 4 

_**Lazy—Smartass has joined the conversation**_

_**Sasuke'sGal has joined the conversation**_

_**BARBYQ has joined the conversation**_

**Sasuke'sGal:** hi boys

**Lazy—Smartass:** hey Ino. Hey Chouji

**BARBYQ:** hi Ino. Hi Shikamaru

**Sasuke'sGal:** Have either of you seen my Sasuke around?

**BARBYQ:** no

**Lazy—Smartass:** not lately and since when was he yours?

**Sasuke'sGal:** Since he asked me out!

**BARBYQ:** he didn't ask you out

**Sasuke'sGal:** HE DID ASK ME OUT! Honestly, you 2 have the memory of fish.

**Lazy—Smartass:** … right. Why do you want to find him?

**Sasuke'sGal:** He didn't show up for our date last night.

**Lazy—Smartass:** and you expected him too? What do you see in him anyway?

**Sasuke'sGal:** He's cool and he is such a hottie.

**Lazy—Smartass:** I actually feel sorry for Sasuke. Having that many fangirls must be a drag.

**BARBYQ:** You would know Shikamaru, you have loads of fangirls!

**Lazy—Smartass:** no I don't!

_**Randomshikafan001 has joined the conversation**_

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**Randomshikafan001:** I LOVE U SHIKAMARU

**Randomshikafan863:** MARRY ME SHIKAMARU

**Randomshikafan297:** HAVE MY BABIES SHIKAMARU

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**BARBYQ:** that was creepy

**Sasuke'sGal:** You're just jealous anyway and you don't need to be. There's enough of me to go around . So how about we meet up later?

_**Lazy—Smartass has left the conversation**_

**Sasuke'sGal: **What's up with him?

**BARBYQ:** I think you scared him off

**Sasuke'sGal:** HOW DARE YOU. I AM THE MOST BEAUTIFUL GIRL IN KONOHA.

**BARBYQ:** No your not, you're the bossiest.

**Sasuke'sGal:** I AM NOT BOSSY!!!

_**Lazy—Smartass has joined the conversation**_

**Lazy—Smartass:** sorry about that. I puked on my computer so I hav to use my dads now.

**Sasuke'sGal:** Why'd you puke?

**Lazy—Smartass:** … I must have eaten something bad .'

**BARBYQ:** yeah. You must have 'eaten' something very ugly and disgusting.

**Lazy—Smartass:** SHUT UP CHOUJI! Do u want to get her to go into one of her tantrums? Last time it happened, we got stuck listening for 4 hours!

**Sasuke'sGal:** YEAH! You're talking about Sakura, right?

**Lazy—Smartass:** … yeah, sure.

**BARBYQ:** I av to go now, it's time for lunch.

**Sasuke'sGal:** Do u ever stop eating?

**BARBYQ:** do YOU ever stop talking? Besides, your not so slim yourself. You been pigging out again?

**Lazy—Smartass:** I'm leaving before this gets ugly.

_**Lazy—Smartass has left the conversation**_

**Sasuke'sGal:** I'M GONNA KILL YOU CHOUJI!!!

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_**Cherry-Blossom has joined the conversation**_

**Cherry-Blossom: **Hi Ino-pig!

**Sasuke'sGal:** … must kill chouji

**Cherry-Blossom:** I'm guessing I came at a bad time?

**Sasuke'sGal:** …chouji must die

**Cherry-Blossom:** O.O' … right. I'll just be leaving then. Message me when you're in a… less murderous mood.

_**Cherry-Blossom has left the conversation**_

_** CHIDORI has joined the conversation**_

** CHIDORI :** hello? Is anyone there?

**Sasuke'sGal:** must kill chouji

** CHIDORI :** Ino?

**Sasuke'sGal:** sasuke?

**Sasuke'sGal:** SASUKE, ITS YOU. I THOUGHT SOMETHING WAS WRONG WHEN YOU DIDN'T SHOW FOR OUR DATE!

** CHIDORI :** What date?

**Sasuke'sGal:** THE DATE YOU ASKED ME ON YESTERDAY!

** CHIDORI :** I didn't talk to you yesterday.

**Sasuke'sGal: **YES YOU DID!

** CHIDORI :** Ino, I DON'T like you, okay. Get it through your thick, blonde head.

**Sasuke'sGal:** there's no need to be shy chuck.

** CHIDORI :** … CHUCK????

**Sasuke'sGal:** Yes chuck. It's your pet name. I read in my 'Slutty Gals' magazine, that all teenagers should have a pet name for their lover!

** CHIDORI :** LOVERS??? Since when were we LOVERS???

**Sasuke'sGal: **Since you asked me out, chuck!

** CHIDORI :** STOP CALLING ME THAT! WE ARE NOT LOVER! I DON'T LIKE YOU AND I NEVER WILL! YOU ARE A BRAINLESS, CLINGY BIMBO. IN FACT, I HOPE YOU ROT IN HELL!

**Sasuke'sGal: **But Sasuke! I LOVE YOU! PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME!

** CHIDORI :** GO SNOG SHIKAMARU YOU EVIL WASTE OF FLESS!

**Sasuke'sGal: **hmm that's not a bad idea. I mean… I LOVE YOU SASUKE! WAAAAAAAAA!

Sasuke'sGal has left the conversation 

** CHIDORI :** maybe I was too hard on her.

Sasuke'sGal has joined the conversation **Sasuke'sGal**:I LOVE U!!!!! Sasuke'sGal has left the conversation 

** CHIDORI :** or maybe not.

Numba1Ninja has joined the conversation Numba1Ninja: Hey Sasuke. What happened? Why is Ino running down the street, begging for someone to kill her? 

** CHIDORI :** She is? WOW, I can't pass that up. I've been waiting for this ever since I met her!

_** CHIDORI has left the conversation**_

_** HyuugaHeir has joined the conversation**_

** HyuugaHeir :** hi Naruto.

**Numba1Ninja:** hi hinata. What's up?

** HyuugaHeir :** nuthin much except FOR THE FACT THAT I HAVE BRUISES ON ALMOST EVERY INCH OF MY BODY. IN FACT, I THINK I HAVE BRUISES ON MY BRUISES and IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!

**Numba1Ninja:** Oh, is this about that rumour thing. I swear I didn't tell anyone. Except for Sasuke, Sakura, Shikamaru, Shino, Chouji, Ino, Iruka-sensei, Kakashi-sensei, the hokage & Konohomaru.

** HyuugaHeir :** U told ALL those people?

**Numba1Ninja: **. yep, and I also told Neji.

** HyuugaHeir :** naruto, you told NEJI?

**Numba1Ninja:** . yes. He got kinda mad though. So I told him that u started the rumour.

** HyuugaHeir : **… YOU! YOU'RE reason I haven't been able to move my body for 7 hours? NARUTO!!! YOU ARE SOOO DEAD.

_** HyuugaHeir has left the conversation**_

**Numba1Ninja:** oopsie.

Numba1Ninja has left the conversation 


	5. Sasuke The Slaughterer

Hello to those people who are bothering to read this. Thank you for all the kind reviews.

The chapters so far have been very short but I am going to try and make them longer for you.

I don't own Naruto and sadly, I never will. T.T

There is still a lot of Ino-Bashing.

Enjoy

Chapter 5 

_Cherry-Blossom has joined the conversation_

Numba1Ninja has joined the conversation 

_ CHIDORI has joined the conversation_

**Numba1Ninja:** Hey Sakura!

** Chidori :** Hi.

**Cherry-Blossom:** Hi guys. Have any of you seen Ino lately? She hasn't been online for weeks. Usually she'd be on stalking you, Sasuke.

**Numba1Ninja:** Sasuke killed her.

**Cherry-Blossom:** O.O

** Chidori :** He means I killed her emotionally. I told her the truth and she couldn't handle it.

**Numba1Ninja:** No, I mean you went to her house and stabbed her repeatedly with a kitchen knife.

**Cherry-Blossom:** NARUTO YOU HAVE A SICK MIND, SASUKE WOULD NEVER DO THAT!!

** Chidori :** YEAH!!

**Numba1Ninja:** I'm not lying! He did kill her! Then he buried her body in his back yard so no one would find it! Go check if you don't believe me!

**Cherry-Blossom:** Fine I will!

_Cherry-Blossom has left the conversation_

** Chidori :** YOU SQUEALER!! Now I have to move the body before she gets here.

_ Chidori has left the conversation_

X.XdesertfuneralX.X has joined the conversation 

**Numba1Ninja:** Hi Gaara!

**X.XdesertfuneralX.X:** Hello Naruto. Whats going on?

**Numba1Ninja:** Sasuke killed Ino and is trying to hide the body.

**X.XdesertfuneralX.X:** The Uchiha killed someone? Strange. Wait a minute, wasn't Ino that blonde girl with the loud mouth. The one who kept cheering that lazy ass that Temari thinks is cool. No wonder he killed her.

**Numba1Ninja:** Temari thinks Shikamaru is cool?

**X.XdesertfuneralX.X:** Yeah. She wouldn't shut up about him after the Chuunin exams. I had to pour sand in her mouth to make her shut up. She didn't talk for a month after that. He he

**Numba1Ninja:** ' right… anyway that is some serious blackmail. You could control her for ages!

**X.XdesertfuneralX.X:** That would be good if it weren't for the fact that I can already control her. I can be very…persuasive when I want to be.

**Numba1Ninja:** O.O I have to leave now.

Numba1Ninja has left the conversation X.XdesertfuneralX.X has left the conversation 

_Lazy—Smartass has joined the conversation_

_\/WORLDSBIGGESTFAN\/ has joined the conversation_

**\/WORLDSBIGGESTFAN\/:** Hi Shikamaru

**Lazy—Smartass:** Hi. Who are you?

**\/WORLDSBIGGESTFAN\/:** I'm Temari. The girl from Suna. We fought in the Chuunin exams. Before our village tried to destroy you. That wasn't our fault though; some snake guy killed our kazekage and ordered us to do it. .

**Lazy—Smartass:** Okay, I really only needed to know your name.

**\/WORLDSBIGGESTFAN\/:** Oh, sorry. I do go on sometimes.

**Lazy—Smartass:** Okay

_YOUTH has joined the conversation_

**YOUTH:** Hello, fellow ninjas! I am so glad you are online. Every time I log on, everyone else has to leave. Even Neji and Tenten. Gai-Sensei always told us that it was rude to leave when someone wanted to chat with you. Perhaps they have forgotten that heart-warming, 12-hour speech he gave us. I shall go remind them later. But for now, lets chat!

_Lazy—Smartass has left the conversation_

_\/WORLDSBIGGESTFAN\/ has left the conversation_

**YOUTH:** Not again! I must have done something to upset everyone. I shall walk round the village 500 times on my hands to punish myself!

_YOUTH has left the conversation_

_00Byakugan00 has joined the conversation_

_Bettadanu has joined the conversation_

**00Byakugan00: **Right, Lee's gone, its safe to log on. Go tell the others to come online.

**Bettadanu:** You sure?

**00Byakugan00:** Yeah. He's just gone past my window. By the looks of it he is only on his 7th lap.

**Bettadanu:** Ok

_Bettadanu has left the conversation_

4 Minutes Later 

_Bettadanu has joined the conversation_

O-IALWAYSHITMYTARGET-O has joined the conversation 

_Lazy—Smartass has joined the conversation_

_BARBYQ has joined the conversation_

X.XdesertfuneralX.X has joined the conversation 

_ HyuugaHeir has joined the conversation_

_\/WORLDSBIGGESTFAN\/ has joined the conversation_

Numba1Ninja has joined the conversation 

_ Chidori has joined the conversation_

_CherryBlossom has joined the conversation_

**00Byakugan00:** Ok, Where are Shino and Kankuro?

**Bettadanu: **Their both on missions.

** HyuugaHeir :** Why aren't the rest of us on missions?

**Lazy—Smartass:** Well Chouji and I can't because SOMEBODY decapitated our teammate. (AKA Sasuke

** Chidori : **I DIDN'T KILL HER!!

**Lazy—Smartass:** No? Then I suppose she just dropped down dead for no reason?

** Chidori :** no! She looked in the mirror THEN she dropped down dead.

**Lazy—Smartass:** As if!

**CherryBlossom:** Right, how about we settle this like grown ups. COURT. I'll be judge.

**Lazy—Smartass:** Fine. There is evidence pointing to Sasuke. Like the fact that he was found burying a human sized bag in his back garden at midnight on the same day Ino was last heard from.

** Chidori :** I was burying a bunch of stuff from when I was young. My clan was killed. I want to forget the memories.

**Lazy—Smartass:** Boo hoo, we all feel really sorry for you. There's also the fact that a knife with Ino's blood on it was found in her kitchen.

** Chidori :** That could be anyone's!

**Lazy—Smartass:** Who else would own a knife with your name on it?

** Chidori : **um… my evil twin brother Basuke!

** HyuugaHeir : **You don't have a twin brother. Your whole clan was wiped out.

** Chidori :** You stay out of this!

**CherryBlossom:** Could you please get on with this! We would like to get this over with before Lee comes online!

**Lazy—Smartass:** All right. I have a witness! Naruto Uzumaki!

** Chidori :** He won't tell you anything.

**Lazy—Smartass:** You think so do you?

** Chidori :** I know so.

**Lazy—Smartass:** Now Naruto. Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth?

Numba1Ninja: uh…yes? 

**Lazy—Smartass:** Good. Now is it true that you saw Sasuke murder Ino Yamanaka?

**Numba1Ninja**: I… uh… I mean he…

** Chidori :** Naruto, remember that conversation we had earlier?

**Numba1Ninja**: O.O… Sasuke didn't kill her. He was… training at the time.

**Lazy—Smartass:** Objection, the witness has obviously received death threats

** Chidori :** Shut up pineapple head!

**Lazy—Smartass:** Naruto, just tell us what you know and nothing will happen to you. We promise.

** Chidori :** Naruto. Remember the grinding noises? And the way the flesh gets pierced?

**Lazy—Smartass:** Stop threatening him!

** Chidori :** I'm not. I was just reminding him about the conversation we had earlier about surgery.

**Lazy—Smartass:** Whatever. Naruto! Did you or did you not see Sasuke kill Ino?

**Numba1Ninja**: …

** Chidori :** (_makes ripping noises)_

**Numba1Ninja**: …I refuse to testify under the fact that I fear for my life.

**X.XdesertfuneralX.X:** Excuse me your honour, but Sasuke can't have killed Ino.

**CherryBlossom: **Why not?

**X.XdesertfuneralX.X:** Because… I DID!!!

**Bettadanu:** DUN DUN DUUUUN!!!

**CherryBlossom:** You did?

**X.XdesertfuneralX.X:** No, I just want to be the centre of attention. .

**CherryBlossom: **--'

**O-IALWAYSHITMYTARGET-O:** This whole thing is a waste of time! Who cares about who killed Ino! It's not like anyone misses her!

**CherryBlossom: **Good point.

**\/WORLDSBIGGESTFAN\/: **Some of us don't even know who she is!

**BARBYQ:** Lets all go out for Ramen! The Ichiraku noodle stand is having a special today!

**Numba1Ninja**: REALLY! Why didn't you say so in the first place? Let's go

_BARBYQ has left the conversation_

_Numba1Ninja has left the conversation_

**Bettadanu:** Lee's almost finished his laps!

_CherryBlossom has left the conversation_

_00Byakugan00 has left the conversation_

_Bettadanu has left the conversation_

_Lazy—Smartass has left the conversation_

_O-IALWAYSHITMYTARGET-O has left the conversation_

_ HyuugaHeir has left the conversation_

**\/WORLDSBIGGESTFAN\/: **Oh sure. No one cares if the sand nins want to go for ramen!

**X.XdesertfuneralX.X:** TT I feel so unwanted

_YOUTH has joined the conversation_

**YOUTH: **THE KONOHA GREEN BEAST HAS RETURNED!!!

_\/WORLDSBIGGESTFAN\/ has joined the conversation_

X.XdesertfuneralX.X has left the conversation 

**YOUTH:** They are still angry? Then I shall do 500 more laps!

_YOUTH has left the conversation_

Thank you for reading. I'm sorry if it was terrible but I'm in a foul mood. Those of you who are wondering, The Romance doesn't come in much until later.


	6. Shikamaru's Secret Hobby

Thanks for the reviews.

I don't own Naruto. TT

Once again I warn you of the Ino-bashing.

Enjoy the new chapter!

Chapter 6 

_Cherry-Blossom has joined the conversation_

_X.XdesertfuneralX.X has joined the conversation_

**Cherry-Blossom:** uh… hi Gaara.

**X.XdesertfuneralX.X:** hi Sakura

**Cherry-Blossom:** You okay?

**X.XdesertfuneralX.X:** Yeah, you?

**Cherry-Blossom:** Well, Sasuke is acting really weird. So is Neji actually. Also, whenever a guy talks to me, he disappears the next day. It's kind of creepy.

**X.XdesertfuneralX.X:** …I think I know why.

**Cherry-Blossom:** Really! What is it?

**X.XdesertfuneralX.X:** They both have a crush on you.

**Cherry-Blossom:** WHAT?

**X.XdesertfuneralX.X:** It's really obvious. Even though I'm in Suna, rumours spread fast.

**Cherry-Blossom:** But, Sasuke? He's ignored me for years! And Neji! He barely looks at me!

**X.XdesertfuneralX.X:** You'd be surprised at how many times he's looked at you. Hinata told me he has been spying on you during training.

**Cherry-Blossom:** He has?! That is creepy. Gaara…what do you think of me?

**X.XdesertfuneralX.X:** Uh…well…I

Numba1Ninja has joined the conversation 

**X.XdesertfuneralX.X:** Saved by the idiot.

**Numba1Ninja:** Hi Guys! What u doin?

**Cherry-Blossom:** NARUTO!!!

**Numba1Ninja:** uh… hi Sakura.

**Cherry-Blossom: **We were in the middle of a conversation. Now would you please do us all a favour and GET LOST!!

**Numba1Ninja:** YOU were having a conversation with GAARA?!

**X.XdesertfuneralX.X:** Yes. I have to go. Bye.

X.XdesertfuneralX.X has left the conversation 

**Cherry-Blossom:** Thanks a lot Naruto!

**Numba1Ninja:** Your Welcome Sakura!

**Cherry-Blossom:** --

**Numba1Ninja:** O.O you were being sarcastic

**Cherry-Blossom:** you don't say.

**Numba1Ninja:** Enough with the sarcasm!!

**Cherry-Blossom:** Fine.

_00Byakugan00 has joined the conversation_

**00Byakugan00:** Hi Naruto. His Sakura.

**Numba1Ninja:** Hi Neji

**Cherry-Blossom:** …

**00Byakugan00:** What's wrong Sakura?

**Cherry-Blossom:** Uh, nothing. Bye

_Cherry-Blossom has left the conversation_

**00Byakugan00:** What's up with her?

**Numba1Ninja:** Someone told her that you've been spying on her during training.

**00Byakugan00:** WHAT! WHO?

**Numba1Ninja:** I think it was Gaara.

**00Byakugan00:** How did he find out? I mean… how did he get that idea?

**Numba1Ninja:** Hinata.

**00Byakugan00:** She should have learned her lesson last time!

_00Byakugan00 has left the conversation_

**Numba1Ninja:** I think I just got her in trouble again.

_ HyuugaHeir has joined the conversation_

** HyuugaHeir :** Hi Naruto. What you doing?

**Numba1Ninja:** I DIDN'T DO IT

** HyuugaHeir :** Didn't do what?

**Numba1Ninja:** Didn't do…it.

** HyuugaHeir : **What's it?

**Numba1Ninja:** It is it.

** HyuugaHeir :** Your not making any sense!

_00Byakugan00 has joined the conversation_

** HyuugaHeir :** Hi Neji!

**00Byakugan00:** …Hinata.

**Numba1Ninja:** I have to go…wash my underpants.

Numba1Ninja has left the conversation 

**00Byakugan00:** Hinata

** HyuugaHeir :** What is it Neji?

**00Byakugan00:** You

** HyuugaHeir :** ?

**00Byakugan00:** Will

** HyuugaHeir :** I will?

**00Byakugan00:** DIE!!!

** HyuugaHeir :** O.O NOT AGAIN

_ HyuugaHeir has left the conversation_

_0.0Byakugan0.0 has left the conversation_

_ Chidori has joined the conversation_

Sasuke'sGal has joined the conversation 

**Sasuke'sGal:** hello Sasuke

** Chidori :** O.O

** Chidori :** But…But your supposed to be dead!

**Sasuke'sGal:** You didn't kill me

** Chidori :** Yeah…yeah I think I did. I got a knife and stabbed you in the heart 13 times. That counts as killing.

**Sasuke'sGal:** HA! The truth is finally out!

** Chidori :** WTF! WHO THE HELL IS THIS?

**Sasuke'sGal:** Shikamaru

** Chidori :** SHIKAMARU?! How did you get on Ino's account?

**Sasuke'sGal:** even geniuses need a hobby. I hack computers.

** Chidori :** Really?

**Sasuke'sGal:** yeah and you may be interested to know that I hacked into Sakuras computer and read her online diary.

** Chidori :** Did it have anything about me?

**Sasuke'sGal:** Actually it did. It said you kept ignoring her and that you were a power-hungry ass.

** Chidori :** I meant anything NICE.

**Sasuke'sGal:** Oh, well it said that you were cool.

** Chidori :** It did?

**Sasuke'sGal:** no

** Chidori :** Then why did you say it did?

**Sasuke'sGal:** I wanted to annoy you

** Chidori :** Why?

**Sasuke'sGal:** Because I don't like you

_Cherry-Blossom has joined the conversation_

**Cherry-Blossom:** Hi Sasuke. Hi…INO?!

**Sasuke'sGal:** Yes Sakura, I am Ino. I have risen from the dead. WOOOOO!

**Cherry-Blossom:** -- Do you really expect me to fall for that? Who are you?

**Sasuke'sGal:** I'm Shikamaru.

**Cherry-Blossom:** How did you get in Ino's account?

** Chidori :** He's a hacker. In fact he hacked in to your computer.

**Cherry-Blossom:** What! You hacked into my pc… O.O you didn't…you wouldn't dare! You didn't go near my files! Did you?

**Sasuke'sGal:** NO!

** Chidori :** Yes! He read your diary!

**Cherry-Blossom:** SHIKAMARU!!!

_Cherry-Blossom has left the conversation_

**Sasuke'sGal:** NO! Is nothing aloud to be kept secret anymore?! Sasuke, I hope you die! And when you do, I hope Ino rapes you in hell!

Sasuke'sGal has left the conversation 

** Chidori :** O.O Who'd of thought that Shikamaru could be so dark.

O-IALWAYSHITMYTARGET-O has joined the conversation 

**O-IALWAYSHITMYTARGET-O:** Hi Sasuke!

** Chidori :** Who are you?

**O-IALWAYSHITMYTARGET-O:** I'm Tenten, we met at the chuunin exams.

** Chidori :** Uh. Just what I need right now, another weirdo.

**O-IALWAYSHITMYTARGET-O:** :(EXCUSE ME!!

** Chidori :** Oh, are you deaf as well?

**O-IALWAYSHITMYTARGET-O:** WHAT?!

** Chidori :** I'd love to stay but there are more worthy people to chat with in the world than you!

_ Chidori has left the conversation_

**O-IALWAYSHITMYTARGET-O:** What like SAKURA?!

_ Chidori has joined the conversation_

** Chidori :** What do you know?

**O-IALWAYSHITMYTARGET-O:** I know you've been spying on her!

** Chidori :** Is it illegal to look at my teammates.

**O-IALWAYSHITMYTARGET-O:** It's not illegal, but when you're looking down a girls top its called being a pervert.

** Chidori :**I AM NOT A PERVERT! I am not going to stay here and take this from someone who can't even get a boyfriend!

**O-IALWAYSHITMYTARGET-O:** YOU TAKE THAT BACK!!!

** Chidori :** MAKE ME!!

**O-IALWAYSHITMYTARGET-O:** MAYBE I WILL!!

** Chidori :** You are such a freak.

**O-IALWAYSHITMYTARGET-O:** and your not? Well if your going to be a prat, I won't tell you who Sakura likes!

** Chidori :** O.O WHO?

**O-IALWAYSHITMYTARGET-O:** Sakura Fancies…

** Chidori :** ??

**O-IALWAYSHITMYTARGET-O:** …

**O-IALWAYSHITMYTARGET-O:** …

** Chidori :** Stop with the fucking suspense!!

_Cherry-Blossom has joined the conversation_

**Cherry-Blossom:** Hi Guys!

** Chidori :** I WAS SO CLOSE!!!

**Cherry-Blossom:** So close to what?

** Chidori :** So close to…uh…I think I hear my mum calling.

**Cherry-Blossom:** Sasuke, your mum is dead

** Chidori :** I meant my dad!

**Cherry-Blossom:** He's dead too.

** Chidori :** My brother?

**Cherry-Blossom:** He killed your clan and you've made it your life goal to kill him.

** Chidori :** Oh yeah. Well I have to go do stuff…bye!

_ Chidori has joined the conversation_

**O-IALWAYSHITMYTARGET-O:** That guy seriously needs to get a few things straight.

**Cherry-Blossom:** yeah.

X.XdesertfuneralX.X has joined the conversation 

**O-IALWAYSHITMYTARGET-O:** Uh cya Sakura!

O-IALWAYSHITMYTARGET-O has left the conversation 

**X.XdesertfuneralX.X: **Hi Sakura.

**Cherry-Blossom:** Hiya Gaara! .

**Cherry-Blossom:** You didn't answer my question from this morning!

**X.XdesertfuneralX.X:** I…uh

**Cherry-Blossom:** ?

**X.XdesertfuneralX.X:** I…like you

**Cherry-Blossom:** In friendship way or in "I love you" way?

**X.XdesertfuneralX.X:** um… in…I…Can it be both?

**Cherry-Blossom:** O.O you mean…you 'like like' me?

**X.XdesertfuneralX.X:** yes

**Cherry-Blossom:** Oh…well I…I like you too!

_Cherry-Blossom has left the conversation_

**X.XdesertfuneralX.X:** This is weird.

X.XdesertfuneralX.X has left the conversation 

This chapter wasn't that funny, I know and I'm sorry. I finally put a bit of GaaSaku in. Even if it was only a little.

The next chapter will be funnier. I promise!


	7. No Means No

I don't own Naruto. If I did, Ino would be dead and Sasuke would be lying in a dungeon with twenty kunai jammed in his skin.

Enjoy!

Chapter 7 

_**Bettadanu has joined the conversation**_

_**00Byakugan00 has joined the conversation**_

_**X.XdesertfuneralX.X has joined the conversation**_

_** CHIDORI has joined the conversation**_

_**Numba1Ninja has joined the conversation**_

_**Lazy-Smartass has joined the conversation**_

_**Cherry-Blossom has joined the conversation**_

**Cherry-Blossom:** Hi Guys!

**X.XdesertfuneralX.X:** Hi Sakura.

**Numba1Ninja:** Hi Sakura!

**00Byakugan00:** Hi Sakura.

**Bettadanu:** Hiya!

** CHIDORI :** Hello.

**Lazy-Smartass:** hey

** CHIDORI :** Sakura?

**Cherry-Blossom:** What is it?

**00Byakugan00:** Yeah, What?

** CHIDORI :** I was wondering if you might like to go out tonight?

**X.XdesertfuneralX.X:** …

**Cherry-Blossom:** Well, I'm kind of busy tonight.

** CHIDORI :** Doing what?

**Cherry-Blossom:** That's none of your business and besides; I don't like you in that way!

** CHIDORI :** WHY NOT?!

**Cherry-Blossom:** your arrogant, superficial, stupid & cruel!

** CHIDORI :** There are good things about me too!

**Cherry-Blossom:** Name three.

** CHIDORI :** I'm strong… I'm brave and I'm…really really HOT!

**Cherry-Blossom:** There are people better looking than you!

** CHIDORI :** Like whom?

**Cherry-Blossom:** NEJI AND GAARA!

**00Byakugan00:** O.O

**X.XdesertfuneralX.X:** O.O

**Bettadanu:** o.O

**Lazy-Smartass:** …

**Numba1Ninja:** Who are those guys?

**Lazy-Smartass:** -- Must you ruin all the drama, Naruto?

** CHIDORI :** You can't be serious! You'd choose a guy with girly hair and a guy that used to kill people for a life purpose, over me?!

**Cherry-Blossom:** I'D RATHER GO OUT WITH ONE OF THEM THAN A GUY THAT LOOKS LIKE HE'S GOT A CHICKENS ASS AT THE BACK OF HIS HEAD!

**Bettadanu:** Oooo, burn!

** CHIDORI :** Hn! Soon you'll realise that I am the better one and you will come to me. And when that time comes, I'll be waiting with open arms!

**Cherry-Blossom:** Then your gonna be waiting for a hell of a long time.

_** CHIDORI has left the conversation**_

**Numba1Ninja:** So…Who's up for ramen?

**Bettadanu:** You are unbelievable!

**Numba1Ninja:** OH YEAH?! WELL AT LEAST I'M NOT…

**Bettadanu:** Not what?

**Numba1Ninja:** …

**Bettadanu:** Hurry up!

**Numba1Ninja:** Hold on a sec, I'm thinking!

**Bettadanu:** Don't hurt yourself.

**Numba1Ninja:** OY!!

**Cherry-Blossom:** I have to go guys, cya tomorrow.

**Numba1Ninja:** BYE SAKURA!

**Bettadanu:** Bye.

**Lazy-Smartass:** Cya

**00Byakugan00:** Bye Sakura.

**X.XdesertfuneralX.X: **Goodbye Sakura, watch out for Sasuke!

**Cherry-Blossom:** Don't worry about him, I bet he's sitting in the dark, sulking right now.

_**Cherry-Blossom has left the conversation**_

**00Byakugan00:** We need to find out whom she's going on a date with!

**X.XdesertfuneralX.X:** No we don't! She was probably just using it as an excuse to get out of dating Sasu'gay'.

**Lazy-Smartass:** Yeah, and why do you care who she's dating?

**00Byakugan00:** … I'm…worried.

**Bettadanu:** U like her!

**Numba1Ninja:** NEJI LIKES SAKURA? Neji and Sakura sitting in a tree!

**X.XdesertfuneralX.X:** …

**00Byakugan00:** SHUT UP NARUTO!

**Numba1Ninja:** S-E-X-X-I-N-G!

**Lazy-Smartass:** O.O

**Bettadanu:** EW NARUTO YOU SICK PERVERT!!

**00Byakugan00:** Naruto, You are a dead man!

**Numba1Ninja:** But… ero-sennin told me! It's his fault! Go kill him!

**Lazy-Smartass:** Too late.

_**00Byakugan00 has left the conversation**_

**Numba1Ninja:** Shikamaru! Kiba! Help me!

**Bettadanu: **Sorry, can't help ya.

**Lazy-Smartass:** Deal with ur own problems.

**Numba1Ninja:** Gaara?

**X.XdesertfuneralX.X:** no

**Numba1Ninja:** I helped you!

**X.XdesertfuneralX.X:** Screw off Naruto! I still have the mark from where you slammed ur head into mine!

**Numba1Ninja:** Ur all jerks!

Numba1Ninja has left the conversation 

**Bettadanu:** What an idiot!

**X.XdesertfuneralX.X:** He's a dead idiot. When Neji's done I'm going to rip his voice box out! Then I'm going to make it so he can't have kids!

**Lazy-Smartass:** So you like her too.

**Bettadanu:** O.o

**X.XdesertfuneralX.X:** I never said that! Besides, she likes me back!

**Bettadanu:** really?

_**Bettadanu has left the conversation**_

**X.XdesertfuneralX.X:** Is it me or have I just unleashed something evil upon myself?

**Lazy-Smartass:** At least ur in Suna, they can't get u there.

**X.XdesertfuneralX.X:** I wouldn't be so sure. Sakura's fanboys are all over the world!

**X.XdesertfuneralX.X:** I believe her fanclub members are chucking bricks at my house right now.

**Lazy-Smartass:** I pity u.

**X.XdesertfuneralX.X:** There goes the window.

**X.XdesertfuneralX.X:** There goes the door.

**Lazy-Smartass:** I strongly suggest you run!

**X.XdesertfuneralX.X:** I am the leader of the Sakura fan club; Gaara can't chat now because he is currently fighting 26917 of our members. To hear more about us, visit our website, Bye!

X.XdesertfuneralX.X has left the conversation 

**Lazy-Smartass:** …wow.

_**Lazy-Smartass has left the conversation**_

Again, I am sorry for the shortness and lack of humour. I haven't had much to laugh about lately so I have become kind of grouchy.

The reason I put this chapter up later than the rest is because I have started a new story.

Anyway, for those of you who are going to review, if you don't mind I would like you to put who your **least** favourite character is. It will come in use for my new story.

Thanks!


	8. The Sexy Sakura Fan Club

Hi sorry for the long wait, I have been doing more reading than typing lately.

Anyway, I bet you wondering whom Sakura is dating and I bet that most you already know!

I have had a few reviewers wondering about Kiba's screen name. I made it 'Bettadanu' because in the series, Kiba seems very full of himself. Also, when I typed it up on word I put two up arrows on either side of the name for dog-ears, but they won't show up on fanfiction.

I know that in most of the chapters in this story I've put that "I don't think its funny" or that "I'm in a grouchy mood". Please don't blame that on me, blame it on my incredibly low self-esteem.

Enjoy!

Chapter 8 

_**Cherry-Blossom has joined the conversation**_

_**NotGaara has joined the conversation**_

**Cherry-Blossom:** Hi Gaara. Any particular reason you changed your screenname?

**NotGaara:** What are you talking about? I'm not Gaara! My name is Gary! Who is this 'Gaara' person?

**Cherry-Blossom:** No-one is stupid enough to fall for that!

_**Numba1Ninja has joined the conversation**_

**Numba1Ninja:** Hi Sakura! Who's this you're talking to?

**Cherry-Blossom:** I stand corrected.

**Numba1Ninja:** Huh?

**Cherry-Blossom:** Naruto, It's Gaara!

**Numba1Ninja:** No its not! Don't you see his screenname? It says that he is not Gaara! Are you dumb or something?

**Cherry-Blossom:** No, but you most definitely are.

**Numba1Ninja:** Hey! I find that offensive!

**Cherry-Blossom:** It's SUPPOSED to be offensive, you moron!

**Numba1Ninja:** I know you are but what am I?

**Cherry-Blossom:** Clearly lacking in braincells.

**Numba1Ninja:** …

**Numba1Ninja:** Am not!

**NotGaara:** My name is Gary, who might you be?

**Cherry-Blossom: **NO! DON'T ASK HIM THAT QUESTION!

**Numba1Ninja:** MY NAME IS NARUTO UZUMAKI AND I AM THE GREATEST NINJA IN THE WORLD! SOMEDAY, I'LL BE HOKAGE AND YOU'LL ALL LOOK UP TO ME BECAUSE I AM THE BEST AROUND! I'M GOING TO BE THE YOUNGEST NINJA TO BECOME THE LEADER OF A VILLAGE!

**NotGaara:** What about Gaara?

**Numba1Ninja:** OH, YOU'VE HEARD OF HIM? HE DOESN'T COUNT BECAUSE HE'S THE SON OF THE KAZEKAGE AND HE IS WEAK ANYWAY! I CAN KICK HIS BUTT ANY DAY, HE IS A WUSS!

**Cherry-Blossom: **Naruto, you are in soooooo much trouble!

**NotGaara:** Naruto…

**NotGaara:** I AM GOING TO RIP OF YOUR ARMS AND FEED THEM TO YOU! THEN, I'M GOING PULL OUT ALL YOUR HAIR AND SELL YOU TO A CIRCUS WHERE YOU'LL BE NAMED 'THE BOY WITH SO MUCH SAND UP HIS ASS THAT HE BECAME CONSTAPATED'!

**Numba1Ninja: **GAARA?! Shit!

Numba1Ninja has left the conversation 

**Cherry-Blossom:** Now that the number one idiot is gone, tell me why you changed your screenname.

**NotGaara:** I had a run-in with your fan club. SOMEBODY told them about us.

**Cherry-Blossom:** I didn't know I had a fanclub! Maybe that's who I keep getting flowers off. I wonder why they signed it with an 'N'.

**Cherry-Blossom:** Anyway, I demand you change your screenname back!

**NotGaara:** Fine.

NotGaara has left the conversation 

_**X.XdesertfuneralX.X has joined the conversation**_

**X.XdesertfuneralX.X:** Happy now?

SexySakuraFanClubMember12345 has joined the conversation 

_**SexySakuraFanClubMember6237 has joined the conversation**_

_**SexySakuraFanClubMember9527 has joined the conversation**_

**SexySakuraFanClubMember12345:** Sabaku no Gaara! We have warned you about talking to the great goddess! Now you must pay the price!

**X.XdesertfuneralX.X:** The Price?

**SexySakuraFanClubMember6237:** Yes! You must talk to our leader!

**X.XdesertfuneralX.X:** You guys have a leader?

**SexySakuraFanClubMember9527:** Yes, the holy one! He is the only man who is worthy of the goddesses love!

**Cherry-Blossom:** WHO ARE YOU TO DECIDE WHO IS WORTHY OF MY LOVE?!

**SexySakuraFanClubMember6237:** IT IS 'THE GREAT FLOWER GODESS'!

**Cherry-Blossom:** …

**SexySakuraFanClubMember12345:** You shall join us to see the holy one! He is dying to meet you!

**X.XdesertfuneralX.X:** I'm sure he is.

**SexySakuraFanClubMember9527:** We shall retrieve our leader!

SexySakuraFanClubMember12345 has left the conversation SexySakuraFanClubMember6237 has left the conversation SexySakuraFanClubMember9527 has left the conversation 

**X.XdesertfuneralX.X:** I have a bad feeling about this.

**Cherry-Blossom:** The feelings mutual.

SexySakuraFanClubMember12345 has joined the conversation 

_**SexySakuraFanClubMember6237 has joined the conversation**_

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**SexySakuraFanClubLeader:** Miss Sakura Haruno! Your beauty exceeds that of a goddess.

**Cherry-Blossom:** Uh… Thanks…I guess.

**SexySakuraFanClubLeader:** Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?

**Cherry-Blossom:** …I'll pass on that…

**X.XdesertfuneralX.X:** Stop flirting with her you bastard can't you tell she doesn't like you?

**SexySakuraFanClubLeader:** Ah yes, the sand demon… I was told about YOU! You filthy scum, keep your trashy hands away from my lady!

**Cherry-Blossom:** YOUR LADY?!

**X.XdesertfuneralX.X:** UCHIHA!!!

**SexySakuraFanClubLeader:** HOW THE HELL DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?!

**X.XdesertfuneralX.X:** Who else is obnoxious enough to call himself: 'The Holy One'?

**Cherry-Blossom:** Good point!

**SexySakuraFanClubLeader:** Naruto is obnoxious as well.

**X.XdesertfuneralX.X:** Yes but Naruto doesn't have the brains to make a fan club!

**SexySakuraFanClubLeader:** Fine, it is I!

**Cherry-Blossom:** O.O

_**Cherry-Blossom has left the conversation**_

**SexySakuraFanClubLeader:** WAIT, SAKURA!!!!

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**X.XdesertfuneralX.X:** Stupid Uchiha!

_**00Byakugan00 has joined the conversation**_

**00Byakugan00:** Gaara, I have been meaning to talk to you. Naruto told me you and Sakura were dating…

**X.XdesertfuneralX.X:** Did he also tell you that he's been going out with Hinata for 2 weeks without telling you? Or that he was the one who stole your shurikan and hid them in your bed?

**00Byakugan00:** WHAT?! THAT SONOVA BITCH! I'LL KILL HIM!

_**00Byakugan00 has left the conversation**_

**X.XdesertfuneralX.X:** Hehehe

Numba1Ninja has joined the conversation 

_** HyuugaHeir has joined the conversation**_

** HyuugaHeir :** Who told Neji about us?!

**Numba1Ninja: **It was you Gaara! Wasn't it? It HAD to have been! You were the only one that knew!

**X.XdesertfuneralX.X:** It couldn't have been me, I was talking to Sakura!

** HyuugaHeir :** Sakura?

**Numba1Ninja:** Didn't I tell you? Sakura and Gaara are dating!

** HyuugaHeir :** Really? I thought she'd go out with N…evermind!

**X.XdesertfuneralX.X:** ?

** HyuugaHeir :** I was going to say 'N…obody but you'! Honest I was!

**X.XdesertfuneralX.X:** Whatever.

X.XdesertfuneralX.X has left the conversation 

** HyuugaHeir :** Poor Neji, he's going to be crushed!

**Numba1Ninja:** Why?

** HyuugaHeir :** O.O You don't know?

**Numba1Ninja:** What?

** HyuugaHeir :** HE LIKES HER!!!!!!

**Numba1Ninja:** He does?

** HyuugaHeir :** YOU WERE MAKING FUN OF HIM A FEW DAYS AGO BECAUSE OF IT! YOU DON'T REMEMBER?

**Numba1Ninja:** Nope.

** HyuugaHeir :** YOU'RE AN IDIOT!

**Numba1Ninja:** and you love me for it!

** HyuugaHeir : …**

**Numba1Ninja:** Say it!

** HyuugaHeir :** Say what?

**Numba1Ninja:** Say you love me!

** HyuugaHeir :** you love me

**Numba1Ninja:** NO! Tell me that you love me!

** HyuugaHeir :** I like you

**Numba1Ninja:** You LOVE me!

** HyuugaHeir :** Yes I do.

**Numba1Ninja:** That'll do!

** HyuugaHeir :** Bye Naruto, I have to go!

**Numba1Ninja:** 'kay, bye!

_** HyuugaHeir has left the conversation**_

Numba1Ninja has left the conversation 

A bit of NaruHina at the end! Hope you enjoyed this new chapter and if not, I hope you enjoy the chapters to come. I'm going to leave you with a few questions:

Who sent Sakura the flowers?

What will Sasuke do to get Sakura's love next?

Will Naruto ever get a brain?

Do any of you know of any good NejiSaku stories?

Bye!


	9. Enter: The Akatsuki

THANK YOU FOR ALL THE WONDERFUL REVIEWS! T.T I LOVE YOU ALL!

Yes, I know you're all probably going to KILL me for the wait. So I've made this chapter extra long :D At least I hope I did…

I don't own Naruto...(Cries)

Anyway, in this chapter the Akatsuki will be coming in, along with some others!

**9-CopyCat-6** - Kakashi  
**RivalOfKakashi** - Gai  
**MedicMistress** - Tsunade

**SnakeEyes** - Orochimaru  
**O-OGlassesO-O** - Kabuto

**SamehadaSmashdown** - Kisame  
**ArtIsBang** - Deidara  
**TobiIsAGoodBoy** - Tobi  
**MisterMoneybags** - Kakuzu  
**To.Kill.Is.To.Believe** - Hidan  
**PrestigiousProdigy** - Itachi  
**AkatsukiLeader** - Pein  
**LostInBlue** - Konan

Also, I have changed a bunch of the other character's usernames, because I wasn't happy with them and a lot of people were getting confused about Kiba's.

**V-Fang-V** - Kiba  
**O-TargetLocked-O** - Tenten  
…**Troublesome…** - Shikamaru  
**HandsomeGreenBeast** - Lee  
**X-Avenger-X** - Sasuke  
**Cherry-Chan** - Sakura  
**DesertKage** - Gaara

* * *

**Naruto Online**

Chapter 9

_**Numba1Ninja has joined the conversation**_

_**HyuugaHeiress has joined the conversation**_

**Numba1Ninja:** HEY HINATA-CHAN!

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**Numba1Ninja:** What did I do? TT

_**Cherry-Chan has joined the conversation**_

**Numba1Ninja:** SAKURA-CHAN!

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**Numba1Ninja:** What is wrong with people today?!

_**V-Fang-V has joined the conversation**_

**Numba1Ninja:** Kiba, why is everyone avoiding me?

**V-Fang-V:** They are? Well, I'm not really surprised, considering…

**Numba1Ninja:** Considering what?

**V-Fang-V:** You should know, _uke-chan_.

**Numba1Ninja:** WHAT?! WHAT ARE YOU SMOKING, YOU DRUGGED UP MUTT?!

**V-Fang-V:** Isn't it true that you and the Uchiha are…well, you know…?

**Numba1Ninja:** WHERE THE HELL DID YOU GET **THAT **FROM?!

**V-Fang-V: **That information is classified.

**Numba1Ninja:** …

**Numba1Ninja:** Guh?

**V-Fang-V:** -- Neji.

**Numba1Ninja:** Thanks.

_**Numba1Ninja has left the conversation**_

* * *

**Elsewhere, In The Akatsuki Only Chatroom**_**ArtIsBang has joined the conversation**_

_**TobiIsAGoodBoy has joined the conversation**_

_**SamehadaSmashdown has joined the conversation**_

_**PrestigiousProdigy has joined the conversation**_

_**AkatsukiLeader has joined the conversation**_

**ArtIsBang:** ITACHI! I JUST GOT THE WEIRDEST THING FROM SOME STRANGE BROWN HAIRED GIRLY-MAN!

**SamehadaSmashdown:** You're one to talk. How many guys have hit on you this month, hmm, Deidara? I've lost count.

**ArtIsBang:** SHUT UP! Here!

_Sending Picture_

…………………

**SamehadaSmashdown:** O.O EW! Bondage!

**TobiIsAGoodBoy:** Tobi thinks its gross!

**AkatsukiLeader:** All right! Lets just get on with the meeting!

_**Cherry-Chan has joined the conversation**_

**AkatsukiLeader:** WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?!

**Cherry-Chan:** I'm Sakura. Its obvious who you are, don't you think you could have been more discreet?

**AkatsukiLeader:** How did _**you **_get in here?

**Cherry-Chan:** I clicked on the chatroom that said: "Top Secret Akatsuki Meeting". :D

**SamehadaSmackdown:** You're an idiot. Going into criminal meeting places.

**Cherry-Chan:** I was curious!

**AkatsukiLeader:** Curiosity killed the cat.

**Cherry-Chan:** Cliché killed the evil mastermind.

**AkatsukiLeader:** And the Akatsuki killed the annoying little girl who won't stop poking her nose into others business!

**PrestigiousProdigy:** This whole conversation is pointless.

**TobiIsAGoodBoy:** Tobi thinks so too!

**SamehadaSmashdown:** Who knew Tobi could think?

**ArtIsBang:** Probably the same amount of people who knew you could type!

**SamehadaSmashdown:** SHUT UP GIRL-MAN!

**ArtIsBang:** GO DIE SHARKY!

**Cherry-Chan:** For a bunch of missing-nin, you guys sure are immature…

**PrestigiousProdigy:** Indeed, but they are not half as bad as the fools in Konoha.

**Cherry-Chan:** You're from Konoha?

**PrestigiousProdigy:** Hn. Perhaps.

**Cherry-Blossom: **…Itachi…?

**PrestigiousProdigy:** Hn.

**Cherry-Chan:** IT IS YOU, YOU FREAKIN' CLAN-KILLER!!! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MESSED UP YOU MADE SASUKE?! HUH???!!! BECAUSE OF YOU, SASUKE'S USING BONDAGE WITH NARUTO! NARUTO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**PrestigiousProdigy:** Ah, I see you also saw the picture that the Hyuuga obtained…

**Cherry-Chan:** YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT I DID!

**PrestigiousProdigy:** No doubt some yaoi fangirl's imagination run wild.

**Cherry-Chan:** A what fangirl?

**PrestigiousProdigy:** Yaoi. I believe it means boy-boy.

**Cherry-Chan:** … Boy-boy?

**PrestigiousProdigy:** Hn.

**Cherry-Chan:** So it isn't real?

**PrestigiousProdigy:** Hardly.

**Cherry-Chan:** :) Thanks Itachi!

**PrestigiousProdigy:** Hn.

_**Cherry-Chan has left the conversation**_

_**Cherry-Chan has joined the conversation**_

**Cherry-Chan:** I still hate you!

_**Cherry-Chan has left the conversation**_

**PrestigiousProdigy:** …

**ArtIsBang: **Weirdo.

_**Cherry-Chan has joined the conversation**_

**Cherry-Chan:** I SAW THAT!

**AkatsukiLeader:** JUST LEAVE ALREADY!

_**Cherry-Chan has left the conversation**_

**AkatsukiLeader:** Alright. We can finally start our meeting.

**SamehadaSmashdown:** But Konan, Hidan and Kakuzu aren't here!

**AkatsukiLeader:** I. Don't. Care.

**AkatsukiLeader:** Now, let's begin-

_**X-Avenger-X has joined the conversation**_

**X-Avenger-X:** Itachi… I WILL KILL YOU!

**AkatsukiLeader: **WHAT IS WITH YOU FUCKING KONOHA BRATS?!

* * *

**In Another Chatroom…**

**_Numba1Ninja has joined the conversation _**

**_HandsomeGreenBeast has joined the conversation_**

…_**Troublesome… has joined the conversation**_

**Numba1Ninja:** Hiya guys!

**HandsomeGreenBeast:** HELLO!

…**Troublesome…: **Just great. These two…

**Numba1Ninja:** ?

**HandsomeGreenBeast:** ?

…**Troublesome…:** Naruto, I don't care what you do in your spare time but if I keep hanging round with you, others may get the wrong idea and think that I like that stuff as well.

…**Troublesome…:** And Lee…

…**Troublesome…:** Well, you just creep me out.

**Numba1Ninja:** I think that's the most I've ever heard you say/type.

**Numba1Ninja:** AND HEY!

**HandsomeGreenBeast:** SHIKAMARU, YOU HAVE BEEN REFUSING YOURSELF THE GREATNESS OF YOUTH! COME, AND I SHALL SHOW YOU WHAT YOU ARE MISSING!

…_**Troublesome… has left the conversation**_

**HandsomeGreenBeast:** …

**HandsomeGreenBeast:** THEN I SUPPOSE IT IS JUST YOU AND I, NARUTO! LET US SHOW THE WORLD OUR YOUTHFULLNESS!

_**Numba1Ninja has left the conversation**_

**HandsomeGreenBeast:** WHY DO YOU LEAVE, MY YOUTHLESS FRIENDS? T.T

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**HandsomeGreenBeast:** GAI-SENSEI!

**RivalOfKakashi:** LEE!

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_**MedicMistress has joined the conversation**_

**HandsomeGreenBeast:** GAI-SENSEI

**RivalOfKakashi:** LEE

**MedicMistress:** …

**9-CopyCat-6:** …

**RivalOfKakashi:** ETERNAL RIVAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**9-CopyCat:** So Hokage-sama, have any new missions arrived?

**RivalOfKakashi:** DON'T IGNORE ME ETERNAL RIVAL!!!!!!!!

**MedicMistress:** No Kakashi. You'll just have to take a break and relax.

**9-CopyCat:** Psh. By the way, can you ask Jiraiya if the new volume of Icha Icha Paradise is finished yet?

**RivalOfKakashi:** PAY ATTENTION TO MEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

**HandsomeGreenBeast:** YOU CAN NOT IGNORE THE GREAT GAI-SENSEI!!!!!!!

**MedicMistress:** I WILL NOT ASK ABOUT THOSE FILTHY PORN BOOKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**9-CopyCat:** …

_**9-CopyCat-6 has left the conversation**_

**HandsomeGreenBeast:** HOW DARE YOU IGNORE GAI-SENSEI!!

**RivalOfKakashi:** ETERNAL RIVAL!!!!

**MedicMistress:** KAKASHI!!

* * *

_**Cherry-Chan has joined the conversation **_

_**X-Avenger-X has joined the conversation **_

_**DesertKage has joined the conversation**_

**Cherry-Chan:** Hi Sasuke…

**X-Avenger-X:** …It was all a lie, I don't feel that way about Naruto.

**DesertKage:** Yeah, _sure_ you don't.

**Cherry-Chan:** Gaara! Sasuke, I'm sorry I gave you weird looks all day! I thought the picture was real!

**X-Avenger-X:** All right…

**DesertKage:** What picture?

**Cherry-Chan:** You didn't see the picture…?

**X-Avenger-X:** Then why have you been laughing about it all day?!

**DesertKage:** I was informed about you and Naruto's little smooch back in the Academy.

**X-Avenger-X:** THAT WAS AN ACCIDENT!!

**DesertKage:** And Neji said you had a shrine to Naruto in your bedroom…

**Cherry-Chan:** Oh, WOW!

**X-Avenger-X:** HASN'T THAT BRANCH BITCH RUINED MY LIFE ENOUGH TODAY??!!!!

_**X-Avenger-X has left the conversation**_

**DesertKage:** Oops, did I say Neji? I meant me. HAHAHAHAHA!

**Cherry-Chan:** GAARA! That was mean! What do you have against Neji? Sasuke, I understand, but Neji?

**DesertKage:** Let's just say Hyuuga needs to learn his place.

**Cherry-Chan:** THAT'S HORRIBLE! You know Sasuke is going to go nuts and attack him! Haven't you learnt from the whole 'Itachi' thing that Sasuke goes CRAZY with revenge? HOW COULD YOU?!

_**Cherry-Chan has left the conversation**_

**DesertKage:** Sakura! WAIT!

_**DesertKage has left the conversation **_

_**X-Avenger-X has joined the conversation**_

**X-Avenger-X:** Hehehehe. All according to plan…

_**X-Avenger-X has left the conversation**_

**00Byakugan00:** ...

**00Byakugan00:** What's that perverted Uchiha up to?

**O-TargetLocked-O:** How should I know?

**00Byakugan00:** TENTEN?! WHEN DID YOU GET HERE?!

**O-TargetLocked-O:** Well, I was here when you came, but I decided not to say anything because you seemed to be talking to yourself. Something about "When should I tell her? What about that Sand kid?". Sound familiar to you?

**00Byakugan00:** …

**O-TargetLocked-O:** Oh, and I was here when Sasuke, Sakura and Gaara came. Then when they had an argument and left. Then when Sasuke came and started laughing evilly to himself. And then when he left and you started talking to yourself again!

**O-TargetLocked-O:** By the way, you seem to do an awful lot of that…

**00Byakugan00:** Okay Tenten, I guess I have to tell you.

**O-TargetLocked-O:** ?

**00Byakugan00:** I like Sakura

**O-TargetLocked-O:** That's it? Jeez, I figured that out weeks ago! You suck at hiding things from people.

**00Byakugan00:** ANYWAY, the Uchiha is up to something and I need you to help me stop him.

**O-TargetLocked-O:** Only if I get to name the mission!

**00Byakugan00:** Uh, okay.

**O-TargetLocked-O:** YAY!

**O-TargetLocked-O:** Now, let's begin Mission: Save Sakura From The Creepy Uchiha Pervert That Left Then Came Back Again And Has A Shrine To Naruto Even Though He Quite Clearly Has It Hot For Sakura!.

**00Byakugan00:** Can't we just name it: Mission: Save Sakura?

**O-TargetLocked-O:** You said I could name it!

**00Byakugan00:** I said name it, not give it a long summary as a title.

**O-TargetLocked-O:** Neji!

**00Byakugan00:** Fine, Mission: "Save Sakura From The Creepy Uchiha Pervert That Left Then Came Back Again And Has A Shrine To Naruto Even Though He Quite Clearly Has It Hot For Sakura!" it is. Be on tomorrow at 0700 hours.

**O-TargetLocked-O:** Awwwwwww, but tomorrow's Sunday!

**00Byakugan00:** Do it or I'll tell everyone about that time you said Kiba was hot!

**O-TargetLocked-O:** HEY! I WAS DRUNK, AND YOU HAVE TO ADMIT HE LOOKED PRETTY DAMN SEXY AT THE TIME!

**00Byakugan00:** I'll admit no such thing!

**O-TargetLocked-O:** Oh, I forgot, YOU WERE TOO BUSY LOOKING DOWN SAKURA'S SHIRT! NOT THAT YOU'D NEED TO WITH THOSE EYES OF YOURS! HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU USED THEM ON HER? HUH?! 'COS I BET IT'S ABOUT FIFTY! OR MAAAAYBE YOU USE THEM ON LEE, YOU SEEM REALLY SET ON GROPING HIM WITH THAT 'HYUUGA JUTSU' OF YOURS! I BET YOUR PERVERT CLAN MADE UP THAT JUTSU JUST TO GET AWAY WITH PERVING ON THEIR OPPONENTS IN BATTLE!!!!!!

**00Byakugan00:** …

**00Byakugan00:** Are you drunk again?

**O-TargetLocked-O:** …Maybe.

**00Byakugan00:** I'm going to enjoy watching you suffer a hangover.

**O-TargetLocked-O:** Sadist!

**00Byakugan00:** Whatever, just be on tomorrow to discuss the plan.

_**00Byakugan00 has left the conversation**_

**O-TargetLocked-O:** One day I'm going to get someone to pull that icicle out of his ass.

_**O-TargetLocked-O has left the conversation **_

* * *

_**X-Avenger-X has joined the conversation **_

_**O-OGlassesO-O has joined the conversation **_

_**SnakeEyes has joined the conversation**_

**X-Avenger-X:** Orochimaru, I'm not joining you again! Last time that happened you tricked me into being your concubine!! When you said you wanted my body, I didn't think you meant that way!

**O-OGlassesO-O:** Angry 'cos you couldn't handle it?

**X-Avenger-X:** Look Kabuto, if you want to take it up the ass, be my guest. But I am NOT GAY! ESPECIALLY FOR SNAKE PAEDOPHILES!

**O-OGlassesO-O:** Then what about that little shrine of yours about the Kyuubi Jinchuuriki?

**X-Avenger-X:** THAT DOESN'T EXIST!!!!!

**SnakeEyes:** Sasuke-kun! Kabuto-kun! Don't fight, I love you both the same!

**X-Avenger-X:** WE'RE NOT FIGHTING OVER YOU, YOU RAPIST!!!!!

_**X-Avenger-X has left the conversation**_

**O-OGlassesO-O:** Don't worry Orochimaru-sama! I was!

**SnakeEyes:** Sorry Kabuto-kun, but Sasuke-kun is special to me.

**O-OGlassesO-O:** T.T

_**O-OGlassesO-O has left the conversation**_

**SnakeEyes:** …I wonder if Itachi changed his mind yet…

_**SnakeEyes has left the conversation**_

* * *

I think I'm going to get flamed for this… XD 

Orochimaru has his eyes set on Itachi again! Oh no!

Gaara and Sakura may split up! T.T

Sasuke is plotting!

Neji is talking to himself!

And yes, Tenten knows all, even when drunk!

**EDIT:** And no, this is not an excuse to make it longer!

I've realised that i haven't given all you reviewers enough of a thank you, so here! TO ALL YOU AWESOME PEOPLE 3

jg9022, Bella-QueenOfTehWaffles, Byakugan Hyuga, Nanako-chan09, Gaaraslovexp, Lady Kaliska, xoxsakurakissxox, Harpy of Love, Firerose1300, Haruko Baka Chan, M1xedMam1, goofbuggy, GammaTron, Inulover4eva, Love of Midoriko, gaara'zlady93, moonlightmama, Sora Inu-chan** (Love Your Stories**!), BlackParade.ox, al2010, nashonfun, music-is-luv, Ao Ame, X-Sadistic-Bitch-X, Artemis 85, emogrl, professionaldooropener, Laflaga, briitestarsz708, Maple Story of Anime of COCA, 0RubyStar0, SasukeUchihaluver, Uchiha Danii-chan, sallyluv16, kitsunequeen93, WinterClover, almostinsane, SarcasticShiloh, Deshwitat'slover, iheartclementines, Teh K9, Suna.Tenma, Gaming Girl, Confuzzled239, -a-Lost-Cause-317-, NarandHin-4-ever, Fire Kunai, Millenium Ring and Winchester, sakuraharuno-cherryblossom, Miss. Madara, SkaterChickSakura13, Hampsterofdestruction, MangaOtaku21, leafninja95, darkfire can purehearts, mmeemmee23, nat.dioxide, Angelfly06, Mutant Cupcakes, bibliophileemily, sand phobia, iMmoRtaLfrEnD704, BrokenHeartedCherry, Twilight-to-Nightfall, rocki14, XxMysticRosexX, Ayame Higurashi Uzumaki, Hynatta-Rocks24, gaara-girl003, Yushike-Sama, DarkAngelKisses **(Your Long Reviews Gave Me A Laugh! You Are Great! XD)**, Da Red Fox, Gaarazlilmiss, PaulRap Raptor, Terra7x, Nagneto, Hey what's that gun for, the silent one, Matimac, Mikafied, Angelusfaith, Lover Of Animes, Lai-san, so stupid its genius, Rikky Uzumaki, K-Bee, SuChAbAKa, Kiss and Cry, BlackKanji, Bloody and Broken, Moon Maiden23, Nejifanatic101, fleur de saison, Ashler, GaaraliciousxSakuralicious, stream of tears, "tom", JUCHKO **(I Love Your ItaSaku Fics!)**, akatsuki's hikari, Jay95, kunoichixakura, Silent Uke Fuu, "me likes gaara"

And to all the others who review after i've done this!

Also, i can't believe some of my favourite authors have read this! O.O I'm so happy!

**EDIT 2:** PaulRap Raptor, i am SO sorry i spelt your name wrong at first! You get extra love! And cookies!


	10. Anger Issues

Two updates in one day, I'm working fast! But yeah, I'm trying to make it up to you guys for taking so long to put chapter nine up…And I finally got my muse back! HOORAH! But this one's shorter than the last…and I think I only did this one to cheer up any of you who are sad about the Gaara-Sakura almost-breakup in the last chapter

I don't own Naruto!

* * *

Chapter Ten

_**X-Avenger-X has joined the conversation**_

**X-Avenger-X:** No one is here? Perfect! Now I can relax in my peaceful solitude.

**_Numba1Ninja has joined the conversation_**

**Numba1Ninja:** GOOD MORNING SASUKE!

**X-Avenger-X:** Well, there goes my peaceful solitude. What do you want, loser?

**Numba1Ninja:** Guess what today is!

**X-Avenger-X:** The day you finally drown in your own idiocy and end up being gang-raped in hell?

**Numba1Ninja:** _Someone_ woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning!

**X-Avenger-X:** My bed is covered in my mother's blood, I sleep on the floor.

**Numba1Ninja:** Oh…

**Numba1Ninja:** Well anyway, today is your birthday!

**X-Avenger-X:** I haven't celebrated my birthday since _that day_.

**Numba1Ninja:** What day?

**X-Avenger-X:** The day my life became empty and dark.

**Numba1Ninja:** You mean yesterday? I swear it wasn't me that took your clothes while you were in the shower! Besides, running down the street naked gave you the fresh air you so badly needed. I mean you spend most of the day sitting in that creepy estate. It's no wonder you're so screwed in the head.

**X-Avenger-X:** Shut up Naruto.

**Numba1Ninja:** Fine, Mister grumpy! I found an old picture of the Uchiha family when I was taking your cl- when I was coming to ask you to train!

**X-Avenger-X:** Really?

**Numba1Ninja:** Ya! I put it on my computer so I could send it to you! Here:

Sending Picture 

…………………

**Numba1Ninja:** Well?

**X-Avenger-X:** HOLY SHIT! HOLY FUCKING SHIT! WHERE DID YOU GET THIS!

**Numba1Ninja:** I got it at your house! Neji told me he was really good with computers so I let him put it on my computer!

**X-Avenger-X:** Neji…He's really been out to get me lately…

**Numba1Ninja:** Sasuke? Hellooooo?

**X-Avenger-X:** …And where does he keep getting these pictures?

**Numba1Ninja:** FINE! I'll just show SAKURA this picture, I'm sure SHE'LL appreciate my effort!

**X-Avenger-X:** WAIT NARUTO!

**Numba1Ninja:** What?

**X-Avenger-X:** As a special birthday gift, why don't you _help me_ pull a prank on Neji. After all, you are the most TALENTED shinobi in the ENTIRE village, I'm sure you could do it easily!

**Numba1Ninja:** YOU'RE RIGHT! I CAN DO ANYTHING! BECAUSE I'M NARUTO UZUMAKI!

**X-Avenger-X:** Good, now here's the plan…

* * *

_**00Byakugan00 has joined the conversation**__**O-TargetLocked-O has joined the conversation**_

…_**Troublesome… has joined the conversation**_

**O-TargetLocked-O:** Okay Neji! We're ready to start Mission: "Save Sakura From The Creepy Uchiha Pervert That Left Then Came Back Again And Has A Shrine To Naruto Even Though He Quite Clearly Has It Hot For Sakura!"

…**Troublesome…:** …

**00Byakugan00:** Why is Shikamaru here?

**O-TargetLocked-O:** Well, when I told him we we're going to get Sasuke, he almost INSISTED on helping, which is really unlike him. I wonder if there's something up with him.

…**Troublesome…:** I'm sitting right here, you know.

**00Byakugan00:** Whatever, let's just get on with it!

**O-TargetLocked-O:** RIGHT!

**O-TargetLocked-O:** So what's the plan?

**00Byakugan00:** I thought it was your job to think of a plan.

**O-TargetLocked-O:** No! I just come up with the cool titles! You're the genius!

…**Troublesome…:** …Idiots.

**O-TargetLocked-O:** If you're so smart, why don't YOU think of a plan?!

…**Troublesome…:** All right.

**00Byakugan00:** I can't wait to hear THIS.

…**Troublesome…:** Sasuke trains from 9am to 4pm every day-

**O-TargetLocked-O:** How do you know that? DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON SASUKE?!

…**Troublesome…:** No, when Ino disappeared I became suspicious of him and followed him for a while-

**O-TargetLocked-O:** SO YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON INO?

…**Troublesome…:** No, let me finish. Why don't we-

**00Byakugan00:** Tenten, it's quite obvious he has a thing for Temari.

…**Troublesome…:** CAN WE STOP TALKING ABOUT MY LOVE LIFE LONG ENOUGH TO SORT OUT A PLAN????!!!!!

**O-TargetLocked-O:** O.O Yes Sir!

**00Byakugan00: **Fine.

…**Troublesome…:** So, if we can intercept Sasuke on his way back from the training grounds, we can force him to tell us what he's planning. Then, we can put a stop to it, tell Tsunade about his plotting and HOPEFULLY kick Sasuke out of the village.

**00Byakugan00:** Sounds good to me.

**O-TargetLocked-O:** Why do we have to kick him out? Can't we just give him a warning, or something?

**00Byakugan00:** …

…**Troublesome…:** No.

**O-TargetLocked-O:** -.- Jerks.

_**Numba1Ninja has joined the conversation**_

**Numba1Ninja:** Hey guys! Did you hear? SASUKE AND SAKURA ARE GOING OUT!

**O-TargetLocked-O:** WHAT

…**Troublesome…:** THE

**00Byakugan00:** FUCK??????!!!!!!!!!

**Numba1Ninja:** Yeah, great isn't it? I saw them making out in the training grounds!

**O-TargetLocked-O:** Oh my GOD!

…**Troublesome…:** …?

**00Byakugan00:** …

**O-TargetLocked-O:** Neji? Are you o-

_**O-TargetLocked-O has been disconnected**_

…**Troublesome…:** What the-

…_**Troublesome… has been disconnected**_

**Numba1Ninja:** HE-

_**Numba1Ninja has been disconnected**_

**00Byakugan00:** U-U-

**00Byakugan00: **_UUUUUUCHIIIIIIIIHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_

* * *

_**X-Avenger-X has joined the conversation **_

_**Cherry-Chan has joined the conversation **_

**_DesertKage has joined the conversation_ **

**X-Avenger-X:** Hey Sakura, now that you and the Sand Demon are through, you want to come over?

**Cherry-Chan:** What are you talking about, Sasuke?

**DesertKage:** Sakura and I are doing just fine together.

**X-Avenger-X:** BUT YOU HAD A FIGHT!

**Cherry-Chan:** And Gaara came all the way to Konoha to apologise!

**DesertKage:** That's right Uchiha. Now what were you saying?

**X-Avenger-X:** IT WASN'T SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN LIKE THIS!!!

**Cherry-Chan:** Huh?

**X-Avenger-X:** I'LL GET YOU, YOU DESERT RAT! AND SAKURA WILL COME TO ME!

**DesertKage:** Does anyone else feel the déjà vu here?

**X-Avenger-X: **DON'T MOCK ME, BASTARD!

**Cherry-Chan:** Calm down, Sasuke!

**X-Avenger-X:** I'll calm down, but you have to give me a kiss…

**Cherry-Chan:** WHEN HELL FREEZES OVER! I'D RATHER SEE YOU POP A BLOOD VESSEL AND GET SENT TO THE HOSPITAL!!!!

**X-Avenger-X:** THEN MAYBE I WILL!

**DesertKage:** …

**DesertKage:** Drama Queen.

**X-Avenger-X:** What was that?!

_**00Byakugan00 has joined the conversation**_

**00Byakugan00:** _UUUUCHIIIIIIHAAAAAAA!!!!!!!_

**X-Avenger-X:** AW, SHIT!

_**X-Avenger-X has left the conversation**_

_**00Byakugan00 has left the conversation**_

**Cherry-Chan:** What the heck?

**DesertKage:** I think this is the start of a WONDERFUL day.

_**Numba1Ninja has joined the conversation**_

**DesertKage:** Or maybe not.

**Numba1Ninja:** SAKURAAAA!

**Cherry-Chan:** What is it Naruto?

**Numba1Ninja:** IMADEADEALWITHSASUKETOPLAYAPRANKONNEJICOSSASUKESAIDIWASUBERCOOLANDIAGREEDSOIENDEDUPTELLINGNEJIANDTENTENANDSHIKAMARUTHATYOUANDSASUKEWEREGOINGOUTANDMAKINGOUTONTHETRAININGGROUNDSBUTNOWNEJI'SGONENUTSANDISTRYINGTOKILLSASUKEANDITHINKITMIGHTBEMYFAULT!WHATSHOULDIDO?

**Cherry-Chan:** Naruto, the spacebar is there for a good reason. Now speak in NORMAL sentences And turn off the caps lock.

**Numba1Ninja:** Well, um, I think Neji thinks that Sasuke blackmailed you into making out with him…and now he's gone loony, trying to kill Sasuke….

**Cherry-Chan:** What gave him THAT idea?

**Numba1Ninja:** Um…me.

**Cherry-Chan:** NARUTO!

**Numba1Ninja:** DON'T KILL ME!

**Cherry-Chan:** …Fine. All right. Naruto, go try and capture Neji with your clones and calm him down a little. I'll call _them_ and tell them Neji'll be arriving there soon, and Gaara…

**DesertKage:** Yes?

**Cherry-Chan:** …Go beat the shit out of Sasuke.

**Numba1Ninja:** Right!

**DesertKage: **Gladly!

_**Numba1Ninja has left the conversation **_

_**DesertKage has left the conversation**_

**Cherry-Chan:** I hate when this happens…

**Cherry-Chan:** …Luckily I have the mental hospital on speed-dial…

_**Numba1Ninja has joined the conversation **_

_**DesertKage has joined the conversation**_

**Numba1Ninja:** Okay, job done. Neji's now being calmed down!

**DesertKage:** Sasuke's in the hospital being healed.

**Cherry-Chan:** Good, oh and Gaara.

**DesertKage:** What?

**Cherry-Chan:** The guys at the KMH (Konoha Mental Hospital) say that the one from Suna called. Apparently you haven't been in much lately. They're worried…

**DesertKage:** …Yeah…

_**DesertKage has left the conversation**_

**Numba1Ninja:** I'm going to go see if Sasuke's allowed visitors yet. I wanna laugh at him.

_**Numba1Ninja has left the conversation**_

**Cherry-Chan:** Am I the only sane person here?

_**Cherry-Chan has left the conversation**_

* * *

Yes, Sakura. Yes you are. 

I feel bad for sending Neji away. But don't worry; he'll be back and sane by the next chapter!

You can take a good guess at what the picture was of at the beginning, but try not to think of it too much, I don't want to be responsible for any of you joining Neji!

I know this chapter only had a few characters in it, but hey! Shikamaru's back!

If you can translate Naruto's gibberish, you get a cookie.

And yes, Sasuke is a possessive bastard in this. XD He's also very dark, as you can probably tell from the beginning

Oh, and to Hynatta-Rocks24, I'll try and add the sound 5 in the next chapter. Tayuya is indeed awesome! She shares my vocabulary!

Thank you for reading my nonsense. Bye!


	11. Visit From The Idiot Convention

Cookies go to the reviewers with the translation!:

Sakura LOVE shadow, 0x-i-Need-A-Hug-x0, kunoichixakura, WinterClover, Shadow Quil

This chapters dedicated to you!

I don't own Naruto, but thank you for all your reviews, alerts and favourite-ing!

And now we have some new characters joining the chat! But most of them won't be in this chapter just yet. I just wanted to get them down for later.

**LadyOfIllusion** - Tayuya  
**8-Two-In-One- 8** – Sakon and Ukon  
**!PowerPunch!** - Jiroubo  
**-SpiderMan-** - Kidoumaru

Kimimaru would have joined but he is too ill to work a computer. T.T

Aaaaaaaand…

**Mrs.Uchiha** - Karin  
**SwordzPleaz** - Suigetsu

Yes, no Juugo. He is awesome but he isn't in. Though he WILL be mentioned.

Also, there is a special note at the bottom, and any of you loyal readers who have your own OCs (Original Characters) may want to read it.

And this chapter will have a LOT of swearing, due to Hidan and Tayuya's potty mouths. Be warned!

* * *

**Chapter Eleven**

_**To.Kill.Is.To.Believe has joined the conversation**_

_**LadyOfIllusion has joined the conversation**_

**LadyOfIllusion:** Who the fuck is this?

**To.Kill.Is.To.Believe:** Who the hell wants to fucking know?

**LadyOfIllusion:** Your fucking mother, asshole!

**To.Kill.Is.To.Believe:** I don't HAVE a goddamn mother, BITCH!

**LadyOfIllusion:** Well maybe if you weren't such an UGLY LITTLE FUCKER you would have one!

_**SamehadaSmashdown has joined the conversation**_

_**PrestigiousProdigy has joined the conversation**_

_**MisterMoneybags has joined the conversation**_

**To.Kill.Is.To.Believe:** WHAT WAS THAT, BITCH? I'LL RIP YOUR FUCKING EYES OUT AND FEED 'EM TO YOU!!

**PrestigiousProdigy:** …

**SamehadaSmashdown:** …

**MisterMoneybags:** …Hidan?

**LadyOfIllusion:** I'D LIKE TO SEE YOU TRY, ASSMUNCH! I'LL RIP THAT UGLY HEAD OFF **AND SHIT** **DOWN YOUR THROAT**!!

**SamehadaSmashdown:** A relative of yours, Hidan?

**To.Kill.Is.To.Believe:** HELL NO!

_**To.Kill.Is.To.Believe has left the conversation**_

**SamehadaSmashdown:** Hey Itachi, you want to go get drunk later?

_**PrestigiousProdigy has left the conversation**_

**SamehadaSmashdown:** Friggin' Uchiha. Has the power to slaughter a whole clan but can't even type yes or no.

_**SamehadaSmashdown has left the conversation**_

**LadyOfIllusion:** Fucking bastards.

**MisterMoneybags:** I'm Kakuzu; I would very much like to help you rip Hidan's head off.

**LadyOfIllusion: **Do it yourself, fucker. I have better things to worry about than the location of some SOBs head.

_**LadyOfIllusion has left the conversation**_

**MisterMoneybags:** So hard to find good help these days…

_**MisterMoneybags has joined the conversation**_

* * *

_**Cherry-Chan has joined the conversation**_

_**00Byakugan00 has joined the conversation**_

_**SwordzPleaz has joined the conversation**_

**Cherry-Chan:** Oh, hi Neji! You've been let out I see…Good for you!

**00Byakugan00:** Yes…Hello…

**SwordzPleaz:** Hey, aren't you that Hyuuga guy? Y'know, the one from the mental hospital?

**00Byakugan00:** Have we met before?

**SwordzPleaz:** Nope, but I friend of mine saw you getting dragged in when he was on his daily visit. Apparently you were shrieking your head off and attacking anyone you could reach. Had to sedate you over and over again. :D

**Cherry-Chan:** Shrieking your head off?

**00Byakugan00:** No, I wasn't!

_**Cherry-Chan has left the conversation**_

**00Byakugan00:** Thanks a lot! Now she thinks I'm a nut-job!

**SwordzPleaz:** She'd have to be pretty slow to not know that after you were sent to the mental hospital, don't you think?

_**00Byakugan00 has left the conversation**_

**SworzPleaz:** What'd I do?

**SwordzPleaz:** Prissy Konoha people, why'd Sasuke ever go back there anyway?

_**X-Avenger-X has joined the conversation**_

_**Mrs.Uchiha has joined the conversation**_

**SwordzPleaz:** Hi Sasuke.

**X-Avenger-X:** Was Sakura just here?

**Mrs.Uchiha:** Hey Sasuke-kun!

**X-Avenger-X:** Shit, Ino!

**X-Avenger-X:** Wait, didn't I kill you?

**Mrs.Uchiha:** Who's Ino? I'm Karin!

**X-Avenger-X:** …?

**SwordzPleaz:** HA! He doesn't even remember you!

**Mrs.Uchiha:** SHUT UP SUIGETSU!

**X-Avenger-X:** …Mrs. Uchiha…

**Mrs.Uchiha:** Yes Sasuke, you and I are-

**X-Avenger-X:** YOU'RE MARRIED TO ITACHI!!

**Mrs.Uchiha:** What? No!

**X-Avenger-X:** I'LL KILL YOU AND YOUR MURDERING HUSBAND!!

**Mrs.Uchiha:** WAIT SASUKE-KUN!!

**X-Avenger-X:** _RAWR!_

_**X-Avenger-X has left the conversation**_

_**Mrs.Uchiha has left the conversation**_

**SwordzPleaz:** …

_**9-CopyCat-6 has joined the conversation**_

**SwordzPleaz:** Who are you?

**9-CopyCat-6:** You know your name could be taken as a sexual innuendo.

**SwordzPleaz:** O.O

_**SwordzPleaz**__**has left the conversation**_

**9-CopyCat-6:** /

_**9-CopyCat-6 has left the conversation**_

* * *

_**Numba1Ninja has joined the conversation**_

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_**DesertKage has joined the conversation**_

**00Byakugan00:** Uchiha

**X-Avenger-X:** Hyuuga

**00Byakugan00:** Gaara

**DesertKage:** Neji

**X-Avenger-X:** Desert Rat

**DesertKage: **Orochimaru's Concubine

**X-Avenger-X:** I know you are but what am I?

**DesertKage:** Had I realised you were illiterate; I wouldn't have taken the time to send all your fangirls your account information so they could chat with you.

**00Byakugan00:** Seriously?

**X-Avenger-X:** You did WHAT?

**DesertKage:** No, I did THAT.

**Numba1Ninja:** NARUTO!

**00Byakugan00:** …?

**00Byakugan00:** Huh?

**X-Avenger-X:** What the hell, Naruto?

**Numba1Ninja:** I wanted to join in the name thing!

**00Byakugan00:** We stopped that five minutes ago!

**Numba1Ninja:** Well, it took me some time to find the right keys on the keyboard…

**DesertKage:** Idiot! -- I'm sick of this.

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**X-Avenger-X:** I hate you, Gaara.

**Sasuke'sBabyGurl:** YOU ARE THE BEST SASUKE-SAMA!!

**LilMissUchihaSasuke:** SASUKE-KUN YOU ARE MY LIFE!!

**OwnerOfDaBishies:** YOU'RE MINE SASUKE!!

**LuverOfMiSasukeKun:** MARRY ME SASUKE!!

**MarySueUchiha:** LET'S HAVE OUR HONEYMOON IN VEGAS SASUKE-KUN!!

**X-Avenger-X:** WHEN HELL FREEZES OVER!

**MarySueUchiha:** I can make that happen! My dad is friends with Satan. I mean, he was, before I was thrown out onto the street where I gained ninja powers and fell in love with you! I'm super powerful! I'll help you kill Itachi! Just bare my children!

**X-Avenger-X:** NO WAY! NO MATTER HOW MUCH I WANT TO KILL ITACHI! IT'S JUST NOT WORTH IT!!

**Numba1Ninja:** You'd think that being the main character would give me a load of fangirls…

**00Byakugan00:** Don't you know? Only emo guys get fangirls.

**LuverOfMiSasukeKun:** OMG! IT'S NEJI HYUUGA!

**Sasuke'sBabyGurl:** I LOVE YOU NEJI!

**LilMissUchihaSasuke:** I'M YOUR BIGGEST FAN!

**MarySueUchiha:** I'LL CHANGE THE LAWS OF THE HYUUGA CLAN WITH MY AWESOME MARY-SUE NINJA POWERS!

**00Byakugan00:** What the-?

**X-Avenger-X:** Leave my fangirls alone, Hyuuga!!

**Numba1Ninja:** Even Neji gets fangirls! What do I have to doooo!

**MarySueUchiha:** SASUKE-KUN! NEJI-KUN! I LOVE YOUR EMO-NESS!

**00Byakugan00:** NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

_**00Byakugan00 has left the conversation**_

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**Numba1Ninja:** TT

_**Cherry-Chan has joined the conversation**_

**Numba1Ninja:** Hey Sakura-chan!

**Cherry-Chan:** Naruto? Good.

**Numba1Ninja:** ??

**Cherry-Chan:** Random people are attacking me! They keep saying they love Sasuke and that I'm useless!

**Numba1Ninja:** A lot of odd people HAVE been appearing lately. More than usual….

**Cherry-Chan:** I bet it's another of those damn conventions. There are so many people walking round dressed as Sasuke that I thought he's gone ahead and rebuilt the Uchiha Clan already. It's creepy!

**Numba1Ninja:** Yeah, but the fangirls are kinda fun to watch!

**Cherry-Chan:** Naruto, I want you to do me a favour.

**Numba1Ninja:** Of course!

**Cherry-Chan:** Go round town and tell everyone that Sasuke moved to Suna and that he'll be holding auditions there to decide who'll help him rebuild the Clan!

**Numba1Ninja:** He did?!

**Cherry-Chan: **Yeah…Sure…

**Numba1Ninja:** Wow! Gaara's going to be angry!

_**Numba1Ninja has left the conversation**_

**Cherry-Chan:** I worry about him. Really, I do.

_**Cherry-Chan has left the conversation**_

* * *

The next chapter will be an OC Special. So if any of you wish to enter your own into it, or even yourselves, just send me a message or say in a review:

OC's/Your name  
The username you want (them) to have  
Personality  
Gender (Obviously)  
Specific Naruto characters you/they like/hate/love  
Any other significant information you think I should know

If you wish to enter more than one, go ahead, but please, no more than THREE.

To those who don't have an OC or do not wish to participate or read it, just think of it as a filler chapter and I apologise for wasting your time.


End file.
